And Yet Another Diamond

Seriously, where are all of these things coming from? My cheeks are starting to hurt from smiling, and I find myself annoying at times.

I was SO EXCITED to see him today. He came for dinner tonight. Nothing fancy at all...leftovers from the hunters with baked potatoes and fried apples. And my Daddy.

We ate. Daddy left to play cards. I cleaned up and did all the dishes. Then we sat in the kitchen at the table and held hands and played music from our phones for each other. For two hours.

I walked him to the truck and didn't want him to go. But he did. And then we spent another hour and a half on the phone. What the hell is this??!

Fist Full of Diamonds

I looked at him, rather amazed as he touched my face, then slid his hand down my back until I smiled. I could barely whisper as my tears brimmed... "What have you done? I think you have broken something inside me."

He whispered back as he leaned in to kiss me softly, appropriately... "Maybe I just fixed something."

There we were...the schmoopy couple at the end of the bar everyone finds annoying. And I was petrified. But I wasn't running.

Munchies

I have gone from being a two Ding Dongs and a glass of milk person to a mixed bowl of pita chips, sugar snap peas and a piece of good cheese person. ~sigh~

Black

2012 has officially sucked so much ass that I want it over.

Every day, I pray for strength and peace. Some days it washes over me. Some days I float on it...endless waves. And some days, it is just fucking easier to lean into the pain and frustration and disappointment, not only in my own life, but in the world around me. Pushing into the black feels GOOD. Feels NECESSARY. Leaning into the whirlwind makes me leaner...meaner...stronger. And fuck whoever gets in my way. Quiet Wendy is scary Wendy. Lean in...push deeper. Fear doesn't exist when there is NOTHING to lose.

Lord help anyone who has helped create this chaos. The weak should tremble. Right now, the only way I am surviving is to embrace the black hole.

Current song... No Leaf Clover by Metallica with the San Francisco Orchestra. Wendy bright and dark at its finest.

Be afraid...be very afraid. I know your secrets. You like being the victim? I'm going to give that to you. Hell hath no wrath...